Moron Metaphor Alert! Grandpa Al Simpson: "country will be sucking canal water"

We might have to come up with a color coding for this alert system after this latest diatribe from Al Simpleton, er... I mean Al Simpson yesterday.  This one would have to be a "code red" alert as I have never seen so many false metaphors in such a small space.

Story here at CNBS, er... I mean CNBC here.  Here we go, false metaphors in bold-face:

The country will hit the financial skids in the next 10 to 15 years if officials don't find a way to clamp down costs... 

"Play small-ball and 10 to 15 years from now your country will be sucking canal water and that's the way it is," Simpson said 

"It's called the debt. It's $17.3 trillion, heading for 20, and at some point the people who have loaned us 20 trillion bucks will say you've got a dysfunctional government and you've got a Congress that doesn't work." 

"The stuff that is going to eat our lunch is 10,000 people a day turning 65," Simpson said. 

"Health care is on automatic pilot, forget what you call it. It's time to deal with the long-term stuff before interest goes from what it is now back to historical heights.  Then watch people grab their socks and run for blocks." 

"Whatever you do, whether it's tort reform or real estate, the groups will organize and say, 'These guys are nuts and this is the end of America,'" Simpson said. "You've got to go into the tax code and start ripping those things out of there. Each one of these groups has a constituency that will run a front-page ad and tear your shorts off."

And all of this just goes unchallenged by the zombies posing as on-air journalists at the CNBC; which makes them culpable in this act of dispensing these falsehoods in my book.

What is "sucking canal water"??? What type of life has this man lived?  Where does he get this?  This is a very odd statement.

This is another example of how false metaphors are used as an effective way to keep our many rubes believing the falsehood.  The rubes just lap this stuff up "like canal water" (I guess...still don't really understand this metaphor...).

This may be a lesson for life, in that when all the other person has is metaphor that is a tip-off that they just don't know what they are talking about and we should put them on ignore; and seek out people who can explain observed events and policies using professional terminology and leave the metaphors out of it for a change.