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Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Max Fisher — Donald Trump's only real foreign policy idea: steal foreigners' oil
It looks like Donald Trump's presidential campaign is going to be with us for a little while longer, and probably through the first Republican debate. At some point, then, it becomes impossible to avoid talking about Trump's policies — yes, even his foreign policy.
So, to review, Donald Trump is a Republican and free market conservative businessman who opposes the free market exchange of fossil fuels, who believes the US should become a mercantilist colonial power that steals natural resources from other countries, and who opposed the 2003 Iraq invasion but believes the US should have re-invaded in 2013.
It turns out that Donald Trump's central foreign policy plank is the same as his central domestic policy plank: that Donald Trump is very successful, and the rest of the world should be assimilated into his successes.
As a Canadian, this policy stance makes me somewhat nervous. Taking our oil is a lot simpler than doing complicated jumbo-jumbo on cross-border environmental protocols.
Maybe we can have a do-over of the battle of 1812 and see if the US can perform better this time against Canada. Squadrons of US Drones vs Canadian RMPs!
Who could ever invade Canada, they are so nice and polite. Though their border guards didn't like my Texas license plates and my reason for visiting was to look at old rocks on The Hudson wasn't apparently believable. So they put 1 + 1 together to get 5 and tore into my car looking for my supposed alter ego as mexican drugs cartel smuggler with no luck. And then after the border guards gave up with the search for drug, as they were putting the seats back together, they gave me a lecture about what was wrong with US economic policy compared to Canada which was oddly fun and amusing and a few words about currency strength to which I smiled and nodded as no one should ever argue with a border guard. Surprisingly the entire experience was pleasant and they profusely apologized for the inconvenience and sent me on my way with well wishes. No one could fight with these nice people.
Donald parsed a century of American foreign policy into terms that the common man can understand.
ReplyDeleteAs a Canadian, this policy stance makes me somewhat nervous. Taking our oil is a lot simpler than doing complicated jumbo-jumbo on cross-border environmental protocols.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we can have a do-over of the battle of 1812 and see if the US can perform better this time against Canada. Squadrons of US Drones vs Canadian RMPs!
ReplyDeleteWho could ever invade Canada, they are so nice and polite. Though their border guards didn't like my Texas license plates and my reason for visiting was to look at old rocks on The Hudson wasn't apparently believable. So they put 1 + 1 together to get 5 and tore into my car looking for my supposed alter ego as mexican drugs cartel smuggler with no luck. And then after the border guards gave up with the search for drug, as they were putting the seats back together, they gave me a lecture about what was wrong with US economic policy compared to Canada which was oddly fun and amusing and a few words about currency strength to which I smiled and nodded as no one should ever argue with a border guard. Surprisingly the entire experience was pleasant and they profusely apologized for the inconvenience and sent me on my way with well wishes. No one could fight with these nice people.
Tom, that *is* the foreign policy of the United States!
ReplyDeleteThe Donald isn't running for President. He's running for first American Caeser. You can't stump the Trump.
ReplyDelete