Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Scientists Want to Mine Our Poop for Gold


Just when you thought that the disgraced metal lovers among us could stoop no lower, now they come up with something like this.

Every year, Americans are flushing a fortune down the toilet. Literally. More than 7 million tons of biosolids—treated sewage sludge—pass through US wastewater facilities annually. 
Contained within our shit are surprisingly large quantities of silver, gold, and platinum. But our days of wasting human waste may be numbered,

I had thought that the method Moses used to get rid of the gold by grinding it all into a powder and mixing it into the Israelites drinking water which they would then excrete into their latrines was a pretty sure-fire way to permanently put these dangerous materials out of human reach.

"Then he took the calf which they had made, burned it with fire and ground it until it was pulverized; he winnowed it upon the surface of the water and made the sons of Israel drink it." Exodus 32

But  I guess they've now finally figured out a way to even retrieve these metals from the human fecal debris in our sanitary systems after a few thousand years.

Yeeeeuuuccckkk!!!!!


4 comments:

mike norman said...

I always said gold was a shitty investment.

Magpie said...

And the best thing is that, after recycled, they can have a silver smoothie (they still have their silver drinks, don't they?) straight from their bowels.

Actually, they could just skip the whole thing and do the Human Centipede.

Critical Tinkerer said...

This is about monoatomic gold which is believed to prevents untwisting of DNA double helix which is the cause of aging. Paste information is not whole anymore when reproducing new cells.

It is that even old egiptians and hence Moses/ izraelite priests used monoatomic gold produced in pyramids to prevent aging. What Bible says Moses lived to? 320 years.
There is such belief going on today too.

Peter Pan said...

I'll donate some nuggets. What's their address?