Monday, January 7, 2013

"Save the Fails" - Set to the Memory of Jingle Bulls

commentary by Roger Erickson

In these cliff days of winter, when all else seems overhung in a haze of melamine-tainted faux icecicles, yet one more article caught my eye.

China promises change to labor camp system. They agree that neo-liberalism is more 'elegant'!

As I nodded off, perusing Tomlinesque implications, my uneasy dreams were rattled by a clifftop racket. Amidst the din of tinbanks & gin, what should appear but Gresham Claus, and 1% of his IMF dears! They rattled faux chains and jeered our lost options, while a shower of empty wrappers trickled down to the masses. Then amidst all the prattle a clear toast rang out:

"UK Bankers once again world White Collar Criminal Chess Champions!"

followed by more senseless chatter.

"In your face Russian mafia & Chinese CCP! And, et tu Babu? It's us. We don't care! YOU cannot matter."

Then laughter broke out, and a joke went around: "no wonder Pootie's always fuming," cried they, "no matter how corrupt he tries to be, it's just never enough."

Meanwhile, by my dream blast ovens, goldpainted lumps of coal came rattling out, while hopeful peasants were scratching about. They noticed the ruse and were heard to say: We have come full circle from the party days of 2009-10, when advisory firms were arranging big-tickets loans, loans the borrowers had no means of servicing and for which they did not have the proper collateral.”

"Wait," a voice piped up, it was Shiny Scrim, and he was the one saying we all had been flimmed. "So, uh ... why were those loans MADE by those 'prudent' loan shark, er, 'credit rating' banks" - he said? "Aren't banks supposed to be licensed? Anyone else chauffeuring lenders off a cliff would have their license revoked." Then he winced from his hunger, and tightened his belt - before ending with a whine: "and Fed bless us, one and all." It was then that a compassionate spark so briefly aligned previously confused crowds ... but:

"Off with his head," auto-triggered came well-scripted shouts, and loud drums, and privatized cops with donated drones, and even media drown outs. How dare Scrim hurt the chances of token Louds, to be hoisted up to the party in the clouds. "Why, if the polity itself were to be in control, who knows what damage to politics would ensue!" Then gridlock re-ensued, and brawls, and fistfights, accompanied by popcorn and sales of viewing rights.

How did this happen, yet again, some lamented, as they searched for frail Scrim, but found him schön trampled. And in the minds of some few, a rumor cemented. Greenimpeach itself had been perverted, and started a 'Save the Fails' campaign - suspiciously NOT underwater? "Not fair," said detractors, "they're just crooks hiding behind a curtain of 'green.'" "Yet, prithee figure" mused academic orthocrock sellouts, "they do have a point. The greenback really does stop there! So don't think a nare, tax Scrim's account bare!"

"Right! Who cares," railed the masses! "The popcorn's on sale, and views to our rights against that seem pale. The playoff's at 8, and rumor has it there's a neo liberal sheriff in town." And as we trudged off to rub cold hands over no heat, grumbling that we, yet again had been beat, what muffled message came down from some face buried in pork? "Come fleecer, come brazen, come heartless, come dumber; on reckless, on feckless, on less-is-then-more!" And as the 1% wafted away on high-octane flights, there came finally a faint but Loud ringer's new-granted voice: "Ho, ho, ho ... Suckers! And to the few, Bailout rights!"



1 comment:

John Zelnicker said...

Pretty good, Roger, enjoyed it greatly. But, don't quit your day job. :)