Loneliness shouldn’t be seen as a strange aberration; it’s a basic feature of life we should make our peace with in good time.
According to Alain De Botton, it's sadness that causes addiction.
Porn addiction has turned into a major societal problem. At its root, the issue isn’t about excessive horniness; as with all addiction, it’s about sadness.
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Porn addiction is caused by porn prohibition. Mormons, for example, consider porn to be evil. Hence many Mormons become porn addicts. Watching porn makes them feel ashamed, which makes them seek relief by watching more porn, which causes more shame, which causes them to watch more porn, and so on.
Gambling addicts are the same. The more they gamble, the more they feel ashamed and depressed, which drives them to seek relief through more gambling, which causes more depression, which causes more gambling, etc.
The gambling addict doesn’t care about winning. He cares about escaping his pain via the temporary thrill of gambling. The porn addict seeks to escape his pain via the temporary thrill of breaking a taboo. In his mind he reinforces that taboo in order to boost the thrill of breaking it.
The evil and the sickness lie not in porn, but in the taboo against porn. Remove the taboo, and we end the thrill of breaking the taboo, and hence we end the addiction.
Evolution has designed men to revere the female form, and to enjoy sex, since this is necessary for the perpetuation of the species. Sex causes pleasurable chemical reactions in the brain. Masturbation does too. Masturbation is a form of tension relief that almost all higher animals engage in (apes, dogs, dolphins, etc). Porn is an aid to masturbation, especially for males. 99% of men and women masturbate. The other 1% are liars.
Taboos and laws against porn and masturbation are all about power. Feminists and religious wackos want to outlaw porn in order to create male sexual frustration. This creates addictions, which gives them power over men.
Loneliness is caused by sealing ourselves inside a mental closet. The solution is to get out of our closet and listen to others with empathy.
The video says, “It takes a lot of energy to listen to another person and enter sympathetically into their experiences.”
No. Properly done, listening with sympathy is effortless and liberating. It only seems to require energy if we remain in our closet. Go out and find someone who is hurting, or who needs help. Talk to strangers and store clerks. See how they are just like you. Break out of your bubble, and you will find that there is always something to learn from strangers. Treat no one as superior or inferior to you.
Are you depressed because “no one understands you”? Seek to understand others first, and you will be understood.
Everyone must face death alone, just like you. Love people for persevering in spite of this horror. They are heroes, since the essence of heroism lies not in great deeds, but in facing aloneness.
If you help others while expecting something in return, this is merely a business transaction. True compassion is helping others with no expectation of reward.
Lonely? Escape from yourself by listening to others.
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